你知道獲得甜蜜愛(ài)情有幾個(gè)步驟嗎？

1. In Everything, Give Thanks 對(duì)每件事，表示感謝

Say “Thank You” and make an effort to regularly demonstrate your genuine gratefulness for all your partner does for you. There are going to be times when this will seem an impossible chore. Perhaps you’ll be furious with your partner over something or other and they’ll point out something they did, hoping for praise. How will you respond? Will you offer your praise and thanks then deal with your anger separately? Or will you close up like a shell and torture your partner with inconsolable silence?
說(shuō)“謝謝”并努力經(jīng)常地表露你真誠(chéng)地感謝情人為你做的所有。需要時(shí)間來(lái)講這些變成一種不煩悶的事。也許你會(huì)因?yàn)槟呈聦?duì)你的情人或其他人暴怒，他們會(huì)指出他們做了的某事，希望被贊揚(yáng)。你會(huì)如何反應(yīng)？你會(huì)表示你的贊賞和感謝然后獨(dú)自處理你憤怒的情緒？或者你會(huì)像個(gè)貝殼那樣關(guān)閉自己用極度沮喪的沉默折磨你的情人？

You care about making your relationship work so I expect you’ll swallow your momentary pride and say thank you. After all, your partner deserves at least the same courtesy you’d give to a complete stranger. When you cannot be gracious, be polite. Make a habit of offering thanks to your partner, even for the tiniest of things, and a sapling of thankfulness will grow into something strong enough to support you both.
你擔(dān)心你的感情生活所以我希望你能收起你短暫的驕傲然后表達(dá)出感謝。畢竟，你的愛(ài)人應(yīng)該得到至少你對(duì)一個(gè)完全陌生人表達(dá)出的禮貌。當(dāng)你無(wú)法做到親切時(shí)，至少保持禮貌。養(yǎng)成對(duì)愛(ài)人表達(dá)感謝的習(xí)慣，即使對(duì)最微小的事，一句感謝的幼苗會(huì)成長(zhǎng)為強(qiáng)壯地足夠支持你們兩人的大樹(shù)。

2. Ask For Praise. 請(qǐng)求表?yè)P(yáng)

Expecting your partner to notice things without prompting is often very unfair and can lead to resentment. Keep the beast away by speaking up and bringing attention to things you’d like your partner to notice. If you’ve done something you’d like your partner to take notice of, say something! Got your hair did? Say something! Fixed the dining room table so it doesn’t teeter? Say something!
在無(wú)提示下期望你的情人注意到某些事，通常非常不公平也容易導(dǎo)致不滿。遠(yuǎn)離這種討厭的事，坦率地講明白你希望你的情人注意到某些事。如果你已經(jīng)做完了你希望對(duì)方注意的事，說(shuō)出來(lái)！你做了頭發(fā)？說(shuō)出來(lái)！修理了餐廳的桌子使它不再搖晃？說(shuō)出來(lái)！

You did this instinctively when you were a child. Remember running up to a parent or guardian and asking them to look at a picture you’d colored or cape you’d made out of an expensive tablecloth? For most of us, the response was one of amazement (if a bit contrived) and vocal appreciation for our obvious talents.
當(dāng)還是個(gè)小孩的時(shí)候你會(huì)本能地這么去做。還記得你跑到父母或監(jiān)護(hù)人面前要他們看看你涂上了顏色的一副畫或者用一張昂貴地桌布做成了披肩嗎?對(duì)我們大多數(shù)人來(lái)說(shuō)，對(duì)我們顯地才華，這種反應(yīng)是驚奇（如果有一點(diǎn)小發(fā)明）和大聲贊揚(yáng)中的一種。

You’re not so very different now. You still love to be praised when you’ve done well. Even if it’s something you should have done earlier in the week or missed a detail on. How to get that praise? Ask for it and agree to give it when your partner asks you for some appreciation. You know not to crush a child’s spirit by ignoring their efforts to impress you. Are you as smart about your partner?
如今你也沒(méi)有多大的不同。當(dāng)你干好某事后你仍然想被表?yè)P(yáng)。就算是那些你本來(lái)這周應(yīng)該早就完成的或是錯(cuò)過(guò)了細(xì)節(jié)的事。怎么去獲得贊揚(yáng)？去請(qǐng)求表?yè)P(yáng)并同意當(dāng)你的情人需要時(shí)你也給出贊揚(yáng)。你知道不能因忽略孩子們?yōu)榱私o你留下印象而做出的努力打擊他的心靈。你是否像你父母那樣聰明？

3. Schedule Time For Each Other 為對(duì)方排出時(shí)間

If you were worried about killing spontaneous romance by scheduling time with your partner,  you wouldn’t be reading this. For the rest of us with busy lives and hectic schedules, an exhausting Wednesday is easier to handle knowing that Thursday at 6pm we get a few hours with our best friend.
如果你擔(dān)心和你的愛(ài)人安排時(shí)間相處會(huì)扼殺隨意地浪漫，你不會(huì)閱讀這些。對(duì)剩下過(guò)著匆忙生活和繁忙行程的我們來(lái)說(shuō)，一個(gè)精疲力盡的周三更容易掌控知道周四晚上6點(diǎn)我們會(huì)有一些時(shí)間與最好的朋友相處。

All that’s left is to actually be present with your partner during the focused time you have together. This, according to all voices heard in my less-than-scientific survey, is one of the hardest parts of any long-term relationship.
現(xiàn)在剩下的是實(shí)際與愛(ài)人在重點(diǎn)時(shí)間內(nèi)共同度過(guò)的時(shí)間。根據(jù)我的不能稱為科學(xué)的調(diào)查中的聲音，這些，是所有長(zhǎng)久愛(ài)情關(guān)系中最難的一部分。

Dinner with kids at the table doesn’t count as real presence. Sitting on the couch while you both have laptops running in front of you doesn’t count either. In fact, most of the things we do as couples fall into the realm of proximity instead of true presence. A simple test (thanks, Debbie!) is to see if you need to get your partner’s attention before talking for them to hear what you say. If you do, they weren’t really there to begin with.
與孩子在飯桌前吃晚飯不能算作真正的共處，你們一起坐在沙發(fā)上使用著筆記本電腦也不算真正的共處。事實(shí)上，大多數(shù)我們以情侶身份做的事掉進(jìn)了以“接近”取代“真正”共處的范圍。一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的測(cè)試（謝謝Debbie!)是，在對(duì)他們談話前看看是否你需要去引起愛(ài)人注意去傾聽(tīng)你說(shuō)的是什么。如果你需要的話，他們不是真的準(zhǔn)備好了。

You’ll be tempted to use your regular time together as the time for you to angrily vent and argue. Don’t do it! This is your time to catch up with the person you love. If you can’t think of something wondrous and warm to say, chew on silence and just be. There’s something about focused presence with a loved one that helps troubles sink away just a bit. Make the most of your time together!
你會(huì)被誘惑去使用經(jīng)常一起的時(shí)間去發(fā)泄憤怒和爭(zhēng)吵。不要這么做！這是你用來(lái)迷住你愛(ài)的那個(gè)人的時(shí)間。如果你不能想到出色的、熱情的話去說(shuō)，就僅僅仔細(xì)考慮。盡可能多的共處！

4. Agree On How To Argue  商定如何爭(zhēng)吵

Sometime when you’re not even a little angry with each other, sit down and talk about how you fight. Then lay down some rules you both agree to follow during future arguments.

有時(shí)候當(dāng)你對(duì)對(duì)方很生氣時(shí)，坐下然后談?wù)撛趺礌?zhēng)論。然后列出一些你們都同意的規(guī)則供將來(lái)吵架時(shí)遵守。

Mary, a 74 year-old mother of four and widow of two shared three of her rules:
Mary，一位擁有4個(gè)孩子的媽媽，兩次喪偶。她分享給大家三條規(guī)則：

Nobody leaves during an argument without saying where they’re going.
· 吵架時(shí)，在不說(shuō)清楚到底該怎么辦之前，沒(méi)人會(huì)離開(kāi)。

Arguments that last longer than 3 days are obviously stupid and will not be allowed to continue.
· 吵架吵過(guò)三天是明顯的愚蠢，這是不能被準(zhǔn)許繼續(xù)吵的。

An argument will never mean that the relationship itself is in question.
· 一次吵架永遠(yuǎn)不代表這段關(guān)系它本身有問(wèn)題。

Mary’s final rule resonated with me because that’s something I work very hard to do in my own relationships. One of the most difficult but smartest things to say during an argument is, “I love you but I’m so pissed at you about/for/because [insert argument here].” Keeping the argument separate from the relationship status is key to getting things back on track. You could call it a shortcut through very dark woods.

Mary的最后一條規(guī)則和我產(chǎn)生共鳴，因?yàn)檫@是我在自己的愛(ài)情關(guān)系中所努力去做的。爭(zhēng)吵中一個(gè)最難也是最聰明的做法是說(shuō)：“我愛(ài)你，但是我對(duì)你很生氣關(guān)于/因?yàn)?......(爭(zhēng)論內(nèi)容)”。讓爭(zhēng)吵與愛(ài)情關(guān)系相分離的狀態(tài)是使一切回到正軌的關(guān)鍵。你可以稱它為走出迷路森林的捷徑。

5.Say You’re Sorry Every Day 每天說(shuō)你抱歉
Apologizing is a lot like learning a foreign language. The more you practice it in real-life situations, the better you become at it.
道歉很像學(xué)一門外語(yǔ)。在真實(shí)生活中你越加練習(xí)，你說(shuō)得越好。

If you don’t do something worth saying sorry for every day, you’re either an angel or completely blind to your own inadequacy. You need not commit some great damage against your partner before saying you’re sorry. Just be yourself. In the course of being yourself you’ll say something without thinking, forget to pick up something from the store, or complain about your day without asking about your partner’s. You’re a master at making mistakes! =)
如果你每天并沒(méi)有做什么值得道歉的事，你要么是天使要么是完全盲視自己的不足。在說(shuō)對(duì)不起之前，你不需要做巨大地傷害愛(ài)人的事。只是做你自己。在做你自己的過(guò)程中，你會(huì)不經(jīng)過(guò)思考說(shuō)一些話，忘記在商店買一些東西，或者不問(wèn)愛(ài)人過(guò)得如何只是抱怨你的今天過(guò)得糟糕。你是生產(chǎn)錯(cuò)誤的主人！

The more you ask for forgiveness, the easier it will be to admit to and gain forgiveness for all the things you do that might drive your partner away if not taken care of. Its never easy to swallow your pride and admit to screwing something up. But you need to do this and make a habit of it if you want to make your relationship the best it can possibly be.
你越請(qǐng)求原諒，越容易承認(rèn)你做的所有事都會(huì)獲得原諒，如果不小心的話，這很容易讓的愛(ài)人離開(kāi)。放下你的驕傲和承認(rèn)把某件事弄遭了并不是件容易的事。如果你想盡可能地經(jīng)營(yíng)好你的愛(ài)情，你需要這么去做，并且養(yǎng)成習(xí)慣。

原創(chuàng)文章如轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明©轉(zhuǎn)載自譯雅馨深圳翻譯公司轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)以鏈接形式標(biāo)明本文地址深圳翻譯網(wǎng)址全國(guó)統(tǒng)一熱線：400-8808-295