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My father and mother sent me to good schools, but the finest thing they did for my education was to have seven children. I was the oldest, and my brothers and sisters were my best teachers.
父母把我送到一所很好的學校學習,但養(yǎng)育了7個孩子,才是他們?yōu)槲业慕逃龅淖詈玫氖?。我是家中長女,而弟弟妹妹就是我最好的老師。
I learned first to pull my own weight in the boat. Kids making a bob-sled have no use for the loafer who wants a free ride. Neither has the world. I learned to make the bed I slept in, and wash the glass I used, and mend what I broke, and mop up where I spilled. And if I was too lazy or too dainty or too busy, and left it for someone else, somebody else soon taught me different.
我最先學會了身為長女的責任。對一個想搭順風車的流浪者來說,會做雪橇的孩子毫無用處。對這些孩子而言,世界也是如此。我學會了睡覺前自己鋪床,洗自己用過的杯子,修補自己弄壞的東西,用拖布拖干自己濺到地上的水。如果我過于懶惰、挑剔或忙碌,而讓別人來做這些事,馬上就會有人教我不能這么做。
Then, the same way, I learned that anger is a waste. It hurts nobody but me. A fit of the sullens got short shrift in our house. It wasn't pulling my weight in the boat. It was spoiling sport. And among seven children it got me nowhere. It might reduce four o'cat to three o'cat, but the game went on just the same, and where was I? Out of it. Better go in and join the group around the piano and forget my grievance. Better still, next time don't fling down my bat in a tantrum; keep my temper, and stay in the game.
于是,我同樣也明白了生氣于事無補。除了我自己,它傷害不了任何人。在我們家里,悶悶不樂是不會有人搭理你的。盡管不是我的責任,但卻會讓人覺得掃興。何況在7個孩子中間生悶氣對我并沒有好處。沒有我,“4只小貓”的游戲變成“3只小貓”,一樣可以玩得很好。而我呢?只能被排除在外了。最好的辦法就是,忘掉自己的委屈,加入他們,和大家一起圍著鋼琴玩。還有,最好下次不要再亂發(fā)脾氣;控制好自己的情緒,繼續(xù)玩游戲。
Here's a rule thumb that's important, and the older I get, the more important I think it is. When I can do something, and somebody wants me to do it, I have to do it. The great tragedy of life is not to be needed. As long as you are able and willing to do things for people, you will be needed. Of course you are able; and if so, you can't say no. My mother is seventy-seven. In seventy-seven years she has never said no. Today she is so much in demand by thirteen grandchildren and countless neighbors that her presence is eagerly contended for. When I want to see her I have to pretend emergency.
此外,還有一條經(jīng)驗法則同樣重要。隨著慢慢長大,我也越來越認識到它的重要性。當我有能力做一件事,有人也希望我做時,我就必須去做。不為人所需是人生中最大的悲劇。只要你有能力并愿意為人們做一些事,人們就會需要你。你肯定能夠做到,那就不要推辭。我的母親已經(jīng)77歲了。但77年來她從未說過“不”字。如今,她的13個孫兒和無數(shù)的鄰居依然很需要她,希望她能在身邊。因此當我想見她時,不得不假裝有緊急的事情。
Finally, there is the rule of happiness. Happiness is a habit. I was taught to cultivate it. A big stomach-ache, or a big heart-ache, can interrupt happiness, but neither can destroy it unless I permit. My mother simply wouldn't have unhappy faces moping about the place. If it was stomach-ache, she does it. If it was heart-ache, she administered love and understanding and lots of interesting things to do, and soon the sun came out again. Even the heartbreaks that can't really be mended, even those seem to yield to the habit of finding happiness in doing things, in love and in the memory of love. I hope I never lose that habit either. It would be like putting out the light.
最后,還有幸福法則。幸福是一種習慣。我學會了去養(yǎng)成這種習慣。劇烈的胃痛與心痛都會阻礙幸福,但沒有我的允許,它們絕對無法破壞幸福。母親不愿意看到家中有人悶悶不樂。如果有人胃痛,母親會給他吃藥;如果是心痛,她會給予愛和理解,并做很多有趣的事讓他忘記痛苦,重新展露笑顏。即使心碎了,無法再修補,即使有人習慣在工作、愛與愛的回憶中尋找幸福,我也希望我永遠不會將這一習慣丟棄。擁有它,就仿佛點亮了生命的明燈。
So I learned to live, by the great laws, and these little rules of thumb. I wouldn't take a million dollars for any one of them, or a million times that for the years at home that taught them to me.
因此,我學會了生活,并遵循著偉大的定律與這些瑣碎的經(jīng)驗法則。即使給我100萬美元,也換不去它們中的任何一個;或者即使給我無盡的時間,也無法交換那些讓我懂得這些法則的家中歲月。
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